Wednesday, June 29, 2016


Whats up? Today I'm going to show you my My iProud of my free choice writing. I love the part when the guitar's turn into chocolate. If you want to know what I mean by guitars turning into chocolate, read my iProud. I really,really,REALLY hope you...............................


My Best Learning

This is my free choice writing. I am proud of this because I think think I’ve worked my hardest and put in my personal best.

My biggest challenge was getting it done in time and getting all the info from my head.
Success Criteria (Sentence formation has been our main focus)
Content & Ideas
Include a range of ideas with clear details.
Sentence Formation
  • Include simple, compound and complex sentences
  • Start most of my sentences with different words
Choose words and language features to meet my purpose.
Clear beginning, middle and end with paragraphs.
My best spelling with good attempts at words I don’t know.
Use all basic punctuation (capital letters, full stops, question marks and exclamation marks) correctly and attempt some complex punctuation.
                                                 The unusual play-date

It was a sunny Sunday and I, Naomi, was looking out of Leila’s window.My eye’s were squinting.Watching from side to side of the rood,I was as quite as a ladybug.

It was 11.35.and 21 second’s when...wooooooooooohoooooo!!!She’s here she’s here she’s here she’s here!I quickly put on my shoe’s and hurried out the door and down the driveway.There was a grayish blue car and out of it came my B.F.F Jessica.

We ran up the driveway while my mum and Jessica’s mum walked up slowly chatting to each other.When we got inside our mum’s were trailing behind us like snail’s.Jessica had salt and vinegar chips and m&m afghan's in her hand.I said just to chuck them on the table.
She looked at her notepad and she told me the first thing we were going to do was play our guitar’s.Me and Jessica were terribly hungry but we like to stay on schedule.We started to play when we thought our guitar’s were made of chocolate!We gazed for a long time.

Just then there was a tad change.The six string’s faded into lickrish!We were too astonished to take a bite.When our guitar’s were back to normal,we carried on practicing for Mr.Write (we went on Friday's all 2015 in his class to practice).It was about 11.55 and 2 second’s when we  put our guitar’s away.

It was so weird and annoying when we saw our mum’s still chatting to each other.Jessica said:mum,mum,mum,go away NOW!She said not whispering but quietly.After that she whispered in her mum’s ear:This is MY play-date,not your’s.leave now.You have ten second’s starting now.Ten,nine,eight,seven,six,five,four,three,two one.She finished when her mum was gone.

The next thing on Jessica’s list was dancing in my room.The music came from my radio.We went into my room once again and I turned on my radio and put in a CD we liked to dance to.Our dancing time is up!I said at 12.15.

We went back to check what was on the list.But as soon as we saw my mum ,it looked like she was  made of sweet’s!!!I finally said:We have to fix this!So we thought and we thought and we thought.But nothing came to our head’s.We looked around the house.And when we came to the table,we saw the food.It looked like it was glowing to us.

So there was our thought.We opened the packet’s and scoffed everything,even the crums. It only took us five minutes and we have finished two large packets of chips and one whole packet of m&m afghan’s!

Mum,I fell sick.I said in a moaning voice.Go and watch a movie with Jessica then.That should calm you down.Mum said.Have you seen the movie Paranorman?No.Jessica replied.So we watched and watched through the whole thing.

I went to mum and gave her a hug while saying:That made me fell much better.But I fell like i’m going to vomite. She said.Go watch a movie then.I said firmly.

After that,We HAD to do our dance.But as we walked closer to my room with curios look’s on our faces,we herd a sound that went like this: Shake it of, shake it of, of of.Oh shake it of,shake it of,of of.It was the voice of Talor Swift.We carefully opened the door and….Leila and Ollie were dancing!Leila was doing the lawn mower and Ollie was cutely(for a three year old)was doing the sprinkler!Me and Jessica have seen lot’s of weird things lately so all we did was join in and have a load of fun.

                                      The End

So that was my iProud. Hope you enjoyed!

I hope you liked my post.I see you next time!
P.S:I am having other writing ideas like this on other iProud's for my blog!    

: O M G!!!(AM I RIGHT!)(HE HE!!!)


  1. OMG I loved reading your story. It had so much information. My favourite park was the same as yours.
    Ruby :{)

  2. Wow Naomi that was some AMAZING! writing. You should definitely make a 2nd one